Sunday, May 23, 2010

Let the Truth Speak! - Chapter 21

Can I be real with you for a moment?


I am lonely! There...I said it! The journey that God has me on is truly a lonely one. Many people don’t understand what I’m going through - nor do they want to! I’m doing my best to be obedient to God’s will for my life, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.


I am still single. Hence the reason why my blog is titled “Saved, Single, But Not Satisfied!” There is no mate - no warm pair of thighs to rub on me every single night. You know what? I’m mad at that! I know that God will bless me with a mate in HIS time, but it would sure be nice to have a Godly mate right now! I’m a sexual being. I do have needs! And because of my loneliness and vulnerability, I’ve made a stupid decision that now delays my future husband to come into my life. That one moment wasn’t even worth it! Yes, I’ve repented, ask God for forgiveness and moved on. Yes, I know that delayed does not mean denied. However, for every action, there’s a reaction! I’ve lost someone whom I’ve considered a friend when, in actuality, was never a friend in the first place. Just a distraction! A distraction to deter me away from the things of God - and it worked - for a minute! At any rate, life goes on - and so do I.


I know I’m ranting, but if I can’t be honest with myself, then how can God use me to bless others?


I’m not close to any of my family. Not even my immediate family. I am grateful to God that He kept my mother here on Earth. I also love my brother very much. Family is defiantly an important dynamic in a person’s life. However, I truly believe that nobody in my family (on either side) understands God’s calling that’s upon my life, the decisions that I’ve had to make and the sacrifices I’ve endured just to do God’s will. And for that, I know that I will always be somewhat of an outcast or a “black sheep” if you will. But you know what? I’m okay with that! I’ve faced the reality that when it comes to doing the things of God, you will not be popular with others. You can’t go where others go and you can’t do what others do. And when you compromise yourself in order to fit in and to be accepted, you hinder God’s will. I can’t afford to do that! I cannot conform to what my family says and thinks about me. Although I love ALL my family, I have to do God’s will and if they don’t like it, that’s their problem - not mine!


Friends - *whew* - where do I begin? First of all, my circle of friends is extremely small. I’ve learned as I’ve gotten more mature in the Word of God that the greater your calling, the smaller your circle. Not everybody that was there from the beginning will be there to the end. Not everybody who says that they’re your friends are your friends. I thank God for revelation as to who’s for me and who’s against me. But my heart is so big for people that I’ve placed some folks in the wrong categories. And because of those bad decisions, I have a hard time trusting people. Even those in my inner circle! I don’t want to think that friends in my inner circle will eventually leave me, but I have to prepare for that just in case. Now that God has delivered from people and I’m putting all of my business out there on my blog, I guess I’m not afraid to be rejected by people.


The bottom line is that when I love, I love hard. When I’m hurt, I hurt badly. When people tell me that they love me, I expect them to mean it! I do! Majority of the time, I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I know that I’ve hurt some people along the way and for that, I’m truly sorry. Some people has hurt me, too. I had to deal with that.


I’m lonely....Lord help me get through this!


Until next time....

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Get Rid of the Weasel & Fly Like an Eagle! - Chapter 20

I came across an email I wrote two years this month and I'm amazed at what I've wrote back then and also how relevant it is today. What do you think?:

I've recently went to see Bishop T.D. Jakes at the Apollo Theater last night and it was such a blessed and life-changing night. I have to share with you the story he shared that had me in tears.

A little boy in Colorado wanted to see an eagle fly. So he and his father went to the mountains to look for some eagles. For hours, the little boy was looking for an eagle and just as he was about to give up looking, he sees an eagle. The eagle was soaring high in the sky. Bishop Jakes was describing the characteristics of the eagle. Its wings, when it's stretched from end to end, is about 9 feet long. When an eagle mates, they mate high above the clouds. This prevents eagles from mating with other birds - especially chickens! (Jakes' words - not mine! LOL!) When an eagle hunts for food, it will soar down and catches its prey.

So the little boy was observing the eagle and didn't take his eyes off of it. Then suddenly he sees the eagle come down from the sky, then the eagle disappeared. He asked his father if they could find the eagle to see where it went. So they walked to the other side of the mountain and the little boy found the eagle on the ground. The eagle was dead because it grabbed a weasel and the weasel bit through the eagle's heart. The little boy cried because he didn't understand why the eagle died because it was a lot bigger and stronger than the weasel. His father told him that perhaps the eagle didn't let the weasel go and it died because of it.

The moral of the story is what you don't get rid of, it will get rid of you! We all have them - weasels! The weasel could be someone or something in our lives that prevents us from fulfilling our purpose and destiny. Fear, issues, insecurities, etc., could be your weasel. Or perhaps it's someone. People that constantly take and take from you but not giving back to you. A toxic relationship or even a toxic friendship. Don't you sometimes feel stagnate? Like you're stuck in a rut? Have you TRULY accomplished your dreams and goals? Or, perhaps, you've let the weasels in your life kill your dreams? What will it take for you to get rid of the weasel(s) in your life?

Imagine living a life where money was no object. A life without fear. Living life without limits! Brothers and Sisters, YOU ARE EAGLES! You can fly high - farther than you could ever imagine! Get that home! Clean up your credit! Go back to school! Get that passport! Chase that dream! LOOSE THE WEASEL AND SOAR BEYOND THE SKIES!

Pass this message on to EVERYONE you know. Let us all be blessed and spread our wings as eagles and FLY!