Wednesday, March 5, 2014

A Change Has Come! - Chapter 59


It has now been a month since I've moved to Georgia and so far, it has been an amazing experience.

I have been looking for a job, but in all honesty, I don't believe that God has brought me here and not make my dreams come true.  When I was in New York, I wanted a job to survive.  Now, I want to fulfill my career!  Atlanta has several television stations, so I've applied for them all.  Yes, it has been nearly two decades since I've worked in the mainstream media, but I believe God that He will do a miraculous thing for me.

One of the greatest things I've truly learned while being here is the power of forgiveness.  In order for God to bless me, I truly, sincerely and wholeheartedly need to forgive those who've hurt me.  I realize now that I've been holding forgiveness in my heart for a long time - to a point that it was making me physically sick.  So, I can honesty say that I forgive all of those who has hurt me, whether knowingly or unknowingly.  I had even called one person in particular to tell them that I forgive them.  The one person that I need to forgive the most was my brother.  I was so angry with him for the way he treated me ever since I moved back in with him over 3 years ago.  I felt that he was taking joy out of my misery.  I felt that he was constantly belittling and controlling me.  I truly believe that he was doing these things to me as payback for how I treated him when he was young.  Yes, I admit, I was jealous of him when he was born and how my mother loved him more because I was the only child for so long.  As an adult, I now realize that mothers have a completely different relationship with their sons then they do their daughters.  Most mothers raise their daughters, but they love their sons.  That's why, unfortunately, this society has raised a lot of "mama's boys."   Anyway, I do forgive my brother for all that he has done to me.  I haven't spoken to since I came to Georgia, I did text him on his birthday.  I needed this time to clean out my heart concerning him.  I was tired of being angry with him.  So when I do speak to him again, that anger won't rise up in me again.

So far, this journey has been a cleansing one and I'm sure that the cleansing will continue.  It only gets better from here.

Until next time...