Why Don’t My Mother Want to Live? - Chapter 6

It’s been nearly 20 days since my mom has been in the hospital. It has been a wear & tear on me & my family. It hasn’t been easy traveling back and forth to Staten Island, as well as taking an extended vacation from work to be by my mother’s side. What’s worst is that I’m falling behind on my studies. Being that this is my 1st semester, the transition has been a rocky one – to say the least.

What I am most grateful for is that family & friends had came by to see my mom and have given my brother & I their support and prayers. It’s truly have been a humbling experience for us. Again, it’s such a shame that it has to take a traumatic event for family to come together. The point is that we’re together.

Now if my own mother can see what’s really going on, she would be so surprised and humbled. The fact is that my mother is depressed and she doesn’t have the will to live. I know that’s nothing but the enemy and the Lord Jesus Christ rebuke him! I came to find out recently that Mom hasn’t been happy for quite sometime – with herself & her life! Any other time that Mom has been sick, she would go straight to the doctor without hesitation. This time, she wanted to solve all of her problems the only way she knew how – death!

It is blatantly obvious that it was not her time to depart from earth. If so, God would’ve already taken her. But the fact that she still here should be some sort of comfort to her, but it’s not. She thinks my brother, companion and I are mad at her for letting herself get to this dark & ugly place. We’ve reassured her time & time again that we’re not mad at her, but we love, honor & support her. But she’s been so sad & depressed – hence these relapses. Every time she makes progress, she has these setbacks. I’ve learned all to well that a setback is nothing more than a setup for a comeback!

Now if only my mother would fight to live – not for her children, not for her companion, but for herself! We can continue to pray for her, the doctors can do all they can for her, but when it’s all said & done, it is up to her to pull through!

Until next time…

Talk About a Distraction! - Chapter 5

Early Friday morning, I received a call from my "stepfather" telling me that he called 911 for my mother and sent her to the hospital. Earlier that week, both my brother & I have tried to convince her to go to the hospital, but she refused. She believed that she had flu-like symptoms. What she was diagnosed with was severe pneumonia (fluid in both lungs), blood sugar levels over 600 (and she wasn't diagnosed with Diabetes by her primary doctor), and a blood infection. All of this could have been avoided if my mother went to the hospital sooner.

Then again, because of this situation, issues with people were temporarily mended, folks who couldn't stand to be in the same room together had actually got along. But most importantly, I now realized how much people love my mother. Unfortunately, she felt alone and unwanted. My prayer for her is that when she survives this thing - and I KNOW she will survive, that she would realize that not only is she loved, but respected by many people including her children. She has touched so many lives and had blessed many people with her advice. God uses her in such a way that is unexplainable.

Even though I love my mother with all of my heart & soul, nothing will stop me from pursuing the plans of Christ for my life. I love my family, but I love God so much more.

Until next time...