New Radio Show! - Chapter 56

Well, before this year comes to a close (finally), I wanted to let you know that I have another internet radio show - this time on Spreaker.  These shows are just strictly music and each episode are pretty much music that I listen to on my ipod regularly.

Check it out!  http://www.spreaker.com/show/the_tonja_e_withers_show

Until next time....

Lord, I Need You Now More Than Ever! - Chapter 55

Father God,

You said in your Word that "no weapon formed against me shall prosper," but I'm being attached on every side.  You said in your Word that "You will not put on me more than I can bear," but I'm at the point that I no longer want to run this race.  You said in your Word that "...you will do exceedingly, abundantly above all I could ever ask or think."  Well, where is it?  Because I don't see it!  You said in Your Word that "...the last shall be first and the first shall be last."  Then why am I last in every point of my life?  When will I be first?  When will I see Your promises?  Where is my expected end?

I'm frustrated, angry, anxious, lonely and depressed.  All I have is Your Word!  Your Word says that "...this walk is not given to the swift, nor to the quick, but for those that will endure until the end.  I can no longer endure.  I don't want to do this anymore.  This walk is so hard.  I don't believe that you truly love me and watch me suffer the way I am.  There are 13 more days until this year is over.  Where's my Genesis 26:12?

I don't want to quit, but I feel that I need to.  Even though I have absolutely nothing to look forward to outside of Your will for my life, being in this walk is so much harder.  I really, really, REALLY need you to give me sign, show me something that is tangible for me to continue with this race.  My mustard seed of faith is breaking down.  I'm calling out to You Lord!  Please show me something tangible!  Forgive me for murmuring and complaining.  Forgive me for not having enough faith in You.  Forgive me for not trusting You.  I'm so tired.  Please forgive me!

What a Year This Has Been - Chapter 54

As I sit here and reflect, 2013 has been the most challenging year of my life.  I left a wicked church in the beginning of the year, some family and folks who I have depended on has abandoned me, some folks I've waked away from for my sanity's sake, got fired from my job, don't know if I will have a roof over my head or not when the year is over, have been off and on in deep depression and I've watched my mother have not one, but two hip replacement surgeries.  The good news - well, I'm still breathing and have a sound mind.  I have one good friend left that I can trust.  So, praise Jesus for that.

Here's the hard core, God's honest truth - I hate my life!  I hate how my life is, I hate that I have absolutely no one to turn to.  I hate when people say to my face that they love me, when deep down they really hate me.  I hate coming home to an empty apartment.  I hate crying myself to sleep every single night.  I hate that some men tries to play with my intelligence when I can see right through them.  I hate living a very lonely life!  I hate the fact in 2009, I surrendered and said yes to God - yes to His will and yes to his way!  Most of all, I hate myself!  

There...I said it!  I don't know what the future holds for me, but I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I'm tired of feeling like a vagabond.  I'm tired of my enemies prevailing over me.  I'm tired of constantly being betrayed and a family member. I'm tired of church folks telling me that I should be praising God, when deep down I am so angry with God!  

Well, at least I'm honest!  Happy Holidays and Happy New Year...I guess!

Until next time....

I Know That I Am A Leader! - Chapter 53

I wasn't feeling well today, so I've stayed home.  Bishop T.D. Jakes' Pastors and Leadership Conference started today and thank God they were live streaming.  He was sharing the following topic; therefore I'm sharing it with you:

The 10 Commandments of Effective Leadership

by Bishop T.D. Jakes

From the 2013 Pastors and Leadership Conference

!)  Thou shalt not lead beyond your own exposure!  You cannot lead people where you have never been.

2) Thou shalt not choose your leadership team like you choose your friends!  You cannot choose leaders who thinks like you if you want your ministry to go from glory to glory.

3) Thou shalt not reward nepotism!  Self explanatory (especially if your have family in your ministry!)

4) Thou shalt not avoid confrontation!  Put out the little fires early before they turn into infernos in the church!

5) Thou shalt not over promise and under deliver!  A ministry only grows when it's moving.

6) Thou shalt clearly articulate expectations!  Self explanatory.

7) Thou shalt not mistake regimentation for revelation!  When the church program becomes more important than the Holy Spirit's entrance, then there's a problem!

8) Thou shalt not lead forward without updates!  Always notify your congregation where you and the church is going.

9) Thou shalt not lead without listening!  Self explanatory!

10) Thou shalt cross-pollinate!  Obtain information from other sources and broaden your horizons.  For example, learn about leadership from CEO's of Fortune 500 companies.

I know that I am a leader and I believe that these commandments will help me get from glory to glory!

Until next time...

Free Agent! - Chapter 52

It's official...I'm a free agent!

I have sent my letter of resignation to my church after much fasting and praying.  It was not an easy decision for me, especially since I love my now-former bishop.  But I realize that my time there is done.

If there's one thing about reading the bible that I never take for granted, it is this - God ALWAYS sends a prophet to bring warning before destruction!  I have done just that, but the warnings fell on deaf ears.

The sad part about this is that my now-former bishop and I were kindred spirits.  We were a lot alike.  So for him to not only to dismiss what the Lord said through me seriously, but to insult me on the pulpit and claim that I have demons in me and I have no idea what I'm talking about.  That is not only an insult to my prophetic gifts, but it is also an insult to God himself!  Here's a question - how does a shepherd expects its sheep to obey God when the shepherd themselves disobeys God?  Is it not true that EVERYTHING (whether good, bad or indifferent) that happens in the church trickles from the head on down according to II Corinthians 12:24?  There is a fine line between the prophetic and the pathetic - and it's about time that the people of God recognize the difference between the two!

At any rate, I now move on and I continue to pray that my former bishop will realize that not only what was said was correct, but he will finally take heed to what the spirit of the Lord was saying.

Until next time....

Countdown to Milestone - Chapter 51

Happy New Year!  Welcome to Day One of one of the best years of my entire life!  

2013 will be a year unlike any other.  I WILL get everything I've prayed for on THIS year - in Jesus' name!  It has to!

Also, it's 92 days until I turn 40.  I'm currently coming up with immediate goals until I reach that point (of course conversing with God).   Change must come and it starts with me!

Until next time...