The Introduction - Chapter 32

This is the introductory video for The S.I.M. Factor. Enjoy!

What is Your Weakness? - Chapter 33

This is one of the episodes of The S.I.M. Factor! Check it out!

The S.I.M. Factor - Chapter 31

There's a video broadcast that is greatly needed for times like these called "The S.I.M. Factor!"

The S.I.M. Factor (Singles in Ministry) is a video broadcast the deals with the issues that affects Christian Singles in ministry. This broadcast will address our interpersonal and relationship skills with our single brothers and sisters in Christ and give instruction on how to relate to one another according to the Word of God!

You can find this broadcast on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/teejay4273

There is also a Fan page on Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-SIM-Factor/148350958556538

Please check it out! God bless you!

Until next time...

New Year - Better Me! - Chapter 30

Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I decree and declare by the Holy Spirit that dwells within me and by the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ that 2011 will be the greatest year of my life!

For those of you who do not know my testimony, I've suffered from depression for most of my life. It all started from when my father left me when I was a toddler. I was muted - completely stopped talking up to age 4 1/2. That's why I was in Special Education throughout my elementary school years for a speech impediment and lack of reading comprehension. Then by the age of 5, I was sexually molested (that lasted for years) - which ultimately lead to the promiscuity years as a teenager. At that time, in order to receive love and attention from guys, I've sacrificed myself constantly for someone to love me and did things I wasn't proud of because that's all I knew how to do. On top of all that, I believed in every lie that was ever told to me. "You ain't gonna amount to anything!" "You ain't gonna be nothing - just like your daddy!" "You're not attractive - you're fat!" "Don't no man want YOU!" "You're gonna spend the rest of your life broke, busted and disgusted!" (That comment came from my father!)

Then, at 22, I gave my life to Christ...well...not exactly! The only reason why I accepted Christ at that time was because I wanted to get close to this guy. When the relationship didn't work out, I left him, the church and God too! I've made a conscious to give my life to Christ two years later. But throughout my Christ walk, I've ran from my calling! I didn't want to go through the breaking of MY will. I didn't want to suffer through the pain that comes with answering THE CALL! i didn't want to sacrifice my lifestyle, my so-called "friends", none of that! I've FINALLY surrendered at age 33 and answered the call. That's when the purging and the breaking began!

Throughout the last four years of my life, God has purged me, cleansed me, broke me and healed me. What I'm most grateful to God for is Him delivering me from people! People's judgements, criticisms and even their expectations of me. For almost my entire life, I've cared and even worried about what people thought of me. Hence the depressed spirit I've had. All because I've let people break my spirit! Not no more! I have FINALLY come to a place in my life where I now focus on who GOD says I am and not PEOPLE! People will FAIL YOU! I promise you this: I will not let another human being break my SPIRIT ever again!

So you ask "why am I sharing this?" Going through this journey has made me realize that what I've gone through my entire life was not for me! It was to help others that has gone through or is currently going through these kinds of situations and ultimately show that there is a way out - Jesus Christ! If you ever wondered why I am the way I am - why I seem to be so strong - why I don't take nonsense from anybody? Now you know why!

As far as 2011 is concerned, this is my Ephesians 3:20 year! "Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, accordingto the power that worketh in us."

Until next time...

I Know It Will Get Better! - Chapter 29

I’ve just realized that I haven’t made a new entry since September! Oh well...

As this year comes to a close, God has been dealing with me tremendously. 2010 has been a year of cleansing, healing and patience - plenty of patience!

Although I didn’t receive all of the things that I’ve prayed for back in 2009, I will receive it all in 2011! God will bless me! Not because I’ve been faithful, or because I’ve honored His word, but because He loves me!

Remember this: 2011 is the year where the last shall be first and the first shall be last!

Happy Holidays! Until next time...

Do I Look Like I’m Stupid? - Chapter 28

I can’t stand when some men try to play with my intelligence! I may have been born at night, but it wasn’t last night!

When men flirts with me, that’s one thing. However, when the man is married or engaged and flirts with me, that’s a whole different story!

I have been approach by a couple of men - you know, wanting to have “friendly” conversations. However being married/engaged, there’s some conversations one shouldn't be having with a single woman - especially a single woman of Christ! Now, I’ll call a scam when I see one and in these cases, I have. One guy, the engaged one, it turns really ugly.

I didn’t think anything of it when I was talking to this guy. However, when he called me 5 or 6 times a day - everyday, plus not mention his fiancee unless I asked about her, I knew it was a problem. When the Holy Spirit showed me what this guy was trying to do (have sex with me), I called this situation for what it was and nipped it in the bud. I’ve said my peace and I’ve let it go. He insisted that I was crazy, that he wasn’t interested in me “in that way” and called me out of my name! If the negro wasn’t interested in me in “that way,” then why did he reacted the way that he did? Then again, this “man” has a history of anger and emotional issues, so it shouldn’t have been a total surprise to me. I’m just sayin’...

The bottom line is that I desire to be married and I refuse to let anything or anyone stand in the way for what God has in store for me! I ain’t going to hell for nobody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Until next time...

September 11th: Nine Years Later - Chapter 27

Wow...I still can’t believe it’s been nine years!

My recollection of what happened on September 11, 2001 was an interesting one. On the evening of September 10, 2001, my friend’s husband & I were on our way back to Brooklyn from South Carolina. I was helping my friend and her family move from East Stroudsburg, PA to Charleston, SC for a couple of days. Her husband had to return to Brooklyn while the rest of the family stayed in SC. He wanted to drive back and not fly, so I rode back home with him.

We were on I-95 doing 90 mph. He got tired, so we’ve pulled over to a truck stop in Virginia and rested for a few hours. After he caught his second wind, we continued on down I-95. A few hours later, we’ve gotten closer to home. Around 4:30 a.m., we were crossing the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge (the bridge between Staten Island & Brooklyn), I’ve stared at the World Trade Center. I’ve always looked at the World Trade Center every time I cross a bridge, but this time felt different. I’ve heard a still small voice in my ear saying “Take a good look at those buildings. It will be the last time you’ll see them standing!” I scoffed it off. I didn’t believe what I’ve just heard. So I didn’t pay it no mind. I arrived home by 5:30 a.m. that morning. I was so tired, I’ve changed clothes and went straight to sleep.

A few hours later, my mother woke me up screaming, “Tonja, we’re being attached!” I was half asleep, not fully aware of what was going on. So I’ve said nonchalantly, “So what else is new,” and turned over to go back to sleep. The volume on the tv was so loud, that it fully awaken me and I saw it - a fire at that top of Tower 1. I couldn’t believe my eyes! Mind you, my mother and I didn’t have cable at the time, so we’ve noticed that only ONE channel was working that day. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, we’ve saw the plane crashing into Tower 2 live on tv! I’ve tried calling every person I knew that worked in the Wall Street area to see if they were okay, but all of the phone lines were dead! Then, we’ve watched the first building come tumbling down. One right after the other. My mother and I sat there in horror watching this massacre take place. Tears were rolling down my face. The place where I used to visit as a child as well as my hang-out spot when I was in college was gone!

I will never forget the men & women who died on this day, those who lost their lives saving others and grateful to God for those who survived this horrific tragedy.

Until next time...