P.U.S.H. - Pray Until Something Happens! - Chapter 48

It's been a while since my last post.  

To update you since my last post, I did go to my father's funeral (courtesy of my job).  I've made peace with my father's death, but not without some controversy from my family.  My father was a Vietnam veteran; therefore he was given a military-style burial.  So, who do you think got the American Flag from his casket?  You would think it would be me, since my mother (who was still legally married to him) wasn't there.  But no - it was my cousin - the one my father was closest to.  That's okay.  I am a firm believer in Galatians 6:7, "...whatsoever a man soweth, that he shall also reap."  This is one of the reasons why I respect my friends more than my own family.

Anyway, it's now September.  I have 59 days from today for my life to completely change.  Everything I've prayed for in the past as well as new prayers that I haven't mentioned publicly must come to pass within these next 59 days.  It just has to!

Lord, please don't let my enemies triumph over me!  Make my enemies my foot stool, in Jesus' name!  Amen!

Until next time....

End of an Era! - Chapter 47

Today, my father passed away at 2:24pm from cancer.  We've had a rocky relationship for many years. There's a point that we haven't spoken for years!  I feel like Tupac "...my heart wouldn't let me mourn for a stranger."  So I feel numb.


The good news is that he called me and apologized for being crappy father.  We've made peace since then.  His last request was a photo of me and my mother at my brother's wedding.  But my mother didn't like the photo we've taken, so I've never sent it.  I wish I did!


Now, I'm contemplating if I want to go to the funeral.  I intentionally separated myself from the rest of the family because I don't want to be part of their constant drama.  It's ridiculous!  I don't know how to feel.


Anway...until next time.....

New Family Member - Chapter 46

On July 3rd, my brother got married to his girlfriend of 6 years.  The ceremony was beautiful, and I was even asked to read a scripture at the wedding.  The reception was wonderful as well.  The most amazing part of this experience is the coming together of 2 families.  My sister-in-law's family is a nice group of people.


My prayer is that this marriage lasts.  Unfortunately, marriages have not lasted long in my family.  Either they divorce, or stay in an unhappy, miserable marriage (which ends up in divorce anyway)!  My prayer is that this generational curse will break, in Jesus' name!  In a way, I'm actually glad that I'm still single (shocking...I know!).  With eyes wide open, I see that people get married for all the wrong reasons.  Whether it is for money, for sex or to cure loneliness, I have rarely seen couples get married for genuine, sincere love - that is until now.


Anyway, I'm happy for my brother and my new sister-in-law.  Frankly speaking, she's earned the title of "wife!"  She's tolerated my brother's ism's and schism's for over 6 years - and loves him in spite of them (trust me, I know my brother and how he can be)!  I pray that they will be just as happy together 30 years from now as they were when they wed.  It gives me something to look forward to when it's my turn!


Until next time... 

Beloved, let us love one another...! - Chapter 45

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God ; and everyone who loves is born of Godand knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love." ~ 1John 4:7-8

In all honesty, can we say that we love each other in God? Can we really love those that persecutes us? Can we really love our enemies and not conjure up vengeance in our minds to retaliate? If we are suppose to be in Christ, we are suppose to love one another as Christ loves us!

If you have read my past entries, then you know that I have absolutely no qualms in being transparent. In fact, that's part of who I am. With that said, there are times when I have an extremely hard time loving those who have hurt me, used me, talk trash about me, etc. I find that there are times where it is hard to love folks who can't stand me! YES, I admit that I do struggle in this area! I constantly ask the Lord to help in this area so that HE can use me the way He wants to. As I intercede for people, even my enemies, sometimes I ask the Lord "You love me THAT MUCH and tolerated all of my foolishness that you died on the cross because you me?" Without hesitation, the Holy Spirit leads me to John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life."

If Jesus loves us that much, then who am I not to love my brothers and sisters. I'm constantly reminded of the two commandments Jesus gave to His disciples - Love the Lord with all of your heart, mind and soul. Also, love your neighbors as yourselves! So, despite how I feel, what it looks like or how people treat me, I must learn to love everyone. It maybe a challenge, but nothing is impossible when it comes to the things of God!

Until next time....

Church Hurt, You Don't Know The Half! - Chapter 44

Well, first of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR (even though we're in February!) Oh well, better late than never!

With that said, 2012 is going to be one of the best years of my life! Why? Because, when trouble arises, blessings ALWAYS comes right behind it! Especially when it comes to ministry.

I wish people will realize that when you INTENTIONALLY isolate an individual from a church, especially when that person represents change for the ministry, all you're doing is catapulting them to their DESTINY! Especially when that person is anointed! It amazes me that the same folks who cries for "change" in the ministry are the same folks who stagnates it! The same folks who cries out "we need more love in the church" are the same folks who carries hate in their hearts! The same folks who cries "let's come together as one body" are the same folks who causes separation and strife!

I've been in ministry long enough to know what church hurt feels like! But it is because of my past experiences is the reason why I WILL NOT BE MOVED! Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, sold it on eBay! I know that church game of playing psychological CHESS to see if I will leave the church by playing certain moves! Ummm....NO! I'm not going anywhere until GOD says it's time!

Recognize!

Until next time...

"Oh Lord, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood" - Chapter 43

"But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood" - Nina Simone

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not an angry person! There are some things and a few people that really pisses me off!

One of the biggest things is complacency in the church. Yes, the Bible says In Romans 3:23 that "...we've ALL sinned and have come short of the glory of God." Yes, the Bible also says in John 8:7 Jesus said "he that is without sin, cast the first stone." I get that! I've said it before and I'm going to say it again - when are we going to stop using these scriptures as crutches for our messy lifestyles and messy behaviors?

Now, in that same book, Ephesians 5:27 to be exact, it clearly states "that he might present it to Himself a GLORIOUS church, NOT having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be HOLY AND WITHOUT BLEMISH!" Romans 12:1 says "...present your bodies a living sacrifice, HOLY, ACCEPTABLE UNTO GOD, which is your REASONABLE SERVICE!"

C'MON PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's truly a shame that that ones that cries out for holiness and righteousness for our brothers and sisters are the ones that gets persecuted the most - BY OTHER CHRISTIANS! I'm just saying...

I don't know about any of you, but I'm not trying to be left behind, nor do I want for any of my brothers and sisters in Christ to be left behind either. So, I'm ringing the alarm: GET IT RIGHT WITH GOD OR YOUR BEHIND WILL GET LEFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Until next time...

When Are These Guys Going To Get It? - Chapter 42

SEX!

I would love to have some, but I NEED to have a license in order to "practice" sex first - a MARRIAGE LICENSE!

With that being said, some "blasts-from-the-past" keeps trying to creep back into my life! Before I continue, let me tell you about the dream I've had.

I was walking home and following me were 3 dogs - a bloodhound, a doberman and a German Shepard. These dogs followed me all the way home. Before I opened the door, I've looked into these dogs' eyes and told them "you can't come home with me - GO AWAY!" I've opened the door to my house and the dogs stood outside my door. The next day, I was leaving my house to go somewhere and those dogs were STILL outside my door waiting for me! Then I woke up!

Through God's revelation, I was able to interpret the dream. The dogs represents men and these 3 dogs represents men from my past. The German Shepard represents this minister who wanted to get close to me, but the Holy Spirit showed me his true intentions - he wanted sex from me, knock me up and run my bank account dry! I told him to stay away from me, even blocked him on Facebook, but the negro still can't take a hint.

The doberman represents a guy that I've had sex with a while back (see http://savedsinglebutnotsatisfied.blogspot.com/2010/05/let-truth-speak-chapter-21.html). I was weak, I've repented, picked myself up, dusted myself off and kept it moving. I've told him that I couldn't be "friends" with him, so I cut him off. I guess I must have made a "lasting impression" because he keeps calling every six months like clockwork to see if I have "gotten over it!" What part of "leave me the hell alone" did he not understand? I'm just saying...

But the bloodhound is the one that is the most dangerous. What I mean by dangerous is that this "dog" is a few fries away from a Happy Meal! One can away from a six-pack! The dog represents a guy who I was talking to, but he was in a relationship with someone else while he was with me. What I didn't appreciate is the fact he was comparing me and her to see who would "support" him the most (by support, I mean financially). Obviously I couldn't do it, so "Sugarmama" won! (Which is fine by me, because honestly, I've dodged a major bullet!) Now you would think that he's living happily ever after - but no! He keeps trying to attach himself onto me - by trying to be "friends" with some of my family and friends on Facebook, stalking me on the Internet to see what I am doing and who I am with and worst off all, continuously try to attack me on the pulpit saying "we don't love and respect for one another and we have too many haters in the church!" (Oh, did I mention that we all attend the same church - me, him and his wife?) *rolls eyes* First of all, I've forgiven this man for ALL that he has done to me. Second, the two commandments that Jesus gave to his disciples were to 1) love the Lord with all of your heart and 2) love your brother as yourself! I do love him as a brother in Christ because 1) that is part of the commandments and 2) I love myself way too much not for me to love him; however, the bible does not say that I have to LIKE my brother! I love him, but I have absolutely no respect for him as a man, much less a MINISTER! And I refuse to let him be the vain of my very existence!

The moral of the story is this - my future husband must be right around in order for all of this to happen to me. It is said that Satan will bring in the counterfeits before God brings you the "real deal!" Future husband - come quickly and put a license on this! The ring is good, don't get me wrong - but the license seals the deal!

Until next time.....