Well, it's 2014 and so far, it has gone off with a bang!
Since I haven't been able to pay rent, the landlord was going to evict me. Because of the good rapport my mother had with his father, he gave me an offer for me to move out at the end of this month and he won't penalize me for the back rent. Given that I have been asking for God to move me elsewhere and away from here, I consider it a blessing. Praise God! Now, where is God going to place after January 31st? Only He knows. But I have to trust Him during this process.
The worst part about this is telling my Mom! It was hard to hear the shock, anger and disappointment in the tone of her voice. But in all honesty, my mom, my brother or anybody else does not understand this process that God is putting me through. She wants me to fight for this apartment and for my rights as a tenant. What she don't understand is this apartment is nothing more than a security blanket for this family, a clutch, a STRONGHOLD! Yes, for the latter part of the year, I have been murmuring, complaining, crying, venting and moaning about what I've been going through in 2013. But how can I say that I put my trust and faith in God if I don't try Him? In the book of Malachi 3:10, it states "... "I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won't have enough room to take it in! Try it! Let me prove it to you!" (NLV)
In fact, everything I've gone through since 2009 has been a part of the process. Everything that I have previously written as well as things that only me and God knows. Like the time when I had my apartment in 2009 and the Holy Spirit told me to quit my job. All of those days where I had no money and no food to eat, that I've passed out constantly. Didn't know how long I've been out or how many days I've been out. People don't know that! What people also don't know is that when I moved back in with my brother, all of the humiliation, ridicule and torment he has put me through for the last 3 years! I hate being talked down to like a child - especially from someone that's younger than me! The constant smug on his face like he's better than me! I expected to get that kind of treatment from my haters or from strangers - not from my own blood! That's truly heartbreaking! Nobody knows of me crying myself to sleep almost every night for the last 4 years, the times when I had no job or money, there were days when I was starving, some of my "friends" would give me their scrapes of food they wouldn't eat themselves and pass it on to me like I am a DOG! Give me clothes they wouldn't wear themselves and when I would wear it to church, they would whisper behind my back telling people "I gave her that. Don't she look ridiculous?" and laugh at me every single time! Not realizing that everything that they have given me, God turned it around and made it for my good! These examples have nearly broke my spirit - but it didn't!
The moral of this story is never judge a person during the pruning process. Once God brings me to my promise land, I will know that I know that this journey will be all worthwhile. God has allowed for me to go through all that I have gone through to be a living testimony for those who are CURRENTLY going through these same situations that God CAN and WILL ultimately bring you through! You don't know my story - that is until now!
Until next time...
