When I first got saved several years ago, I promised God that when I see my ex-boyfriend from high school, I would apologize for hurting him. I'm not proud of the things I've done in the past, but through those trying times and lessons, I've not only matured - but I now understand why I went through all that I had endured.
B - that's the name I'll call him, was one of the good guys. He was smart, athletic, good-looking, loved his family. He poured his heart and soul into our our relationship, but, unfortunately, I didn't love me enough to love him the way he deserved. I know that is not an excuse, but it explained everything as to why anything good that happened in my life at that time I destroyed. I wasn't happy with myself at all. In fact, I can't tell you how many times I've attempted suicide back then. When I was dating B, I fell for the oldest trick in the book - other guys were interested in me at the same time (or so I thought!). I realized after the fact that these guys only intentions were to break us up. I was stupid.
Long story short, I took advantage of his love for me. I constantly tested him for absolutely no reason. Now, nearly 20 years later, I can admit that I would give anything for a man to love me now that way B loved me then!
With all of that said, I wanted to use my blog to say this:
B, if you're reading this, I want to say that I'm truly sorry for the way I've treated you, for the way I've used you and, most importantly, I'm sorry for not loving you the way you deserved to be loved at that time. I also want to thank you for the way you loved me, cared for me, supported me and believed in me. I pray that you have found love & happiness in your life. May God bless you! By the way, happy belated birthday!
Until next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment