"Oh Lord, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood" - Chapter 43

"But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood" - Nina Simone

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not an angry person! There are some things and a few people that really pisses me off!

One of the biggest things is complacency in the church. Yes, the Bible says In Romans 3:23 that "...we've ALL sinned and have come short of the glory of God." Yes, the Bible also says in John 8:7 Jesus said "he that is without sin, cast the first stone." I get that! I've said it before and I'm going to say it again - when are we going to stop using these scriptures as crutches for our messy lifestyles and messy behaviors?

Now, in that same book, Ephesians 5:27 to be exact, it clearly states "that he might present it to Himself a GLORIOUS church, NOT having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be HOLY AND WITHOUT BLEMISH!" Romans 12:1 says "...present your bodies a living sacrifice, HOLY, ACCEPTABLE UNTO GOD, which is your REASONABLE SERVICE!"

C'MON PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's truly a shame that that ones that cries out for holiness and righteousness for our brothers and sisters are the ones that gets persecuted the most - BY OTHER CHRISTIANS! I'm just saying...

I don't know about any of you, but I'm not trying to be left behind, nor do I want for any of my brothers and sisters in Christ to be left behind either. So, I'm ringing the alarm: GET IT RIGHT WITH GOD OR YOUR BEHIND WILL GET LEFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Until next time...

When Are These Guys Going To Get It? - Chapter 42

SEX!

I would love to have some, but I NEED to have a license in order to "practice" sex first - a MARRIAGE LICENSE!

With that being said, some "blasts-from-the-past" keeps trying to creep back into my life! Before I continue, let me tell you about the dream I've had.

I was walking home and following me were 3 dogs - a bloodhound, a doberman and a German Shepard. These dogs followed me all the way home. Before I opened the door, I've looked into these dogs' eyes and told them "you can't come home with me - GO AWAY!" I've opened the door to my house and the dogs stood outside my door. The next day, I was leaving my house to go somewhere and those dogs were STILL outside my door waiting for me! Then I woke up!

Through God's revelation, I was able to interpret the dream. The dogs represents men and these 3 dogs represents men from my past. The German Shepard represents this minister who wanted to get close to me, but the Holy Spirit showed me his true intentions - he wanted sex from me, knock me up and run my bank account dry! I told him to stay away from me, even blocked him on Facebook, but the negro still can't take a hint.

The doberman represents a guy that I've had sex with a while back (see http://savedsinglebutnotsatisfied.blogspot.com/2010/05/let-truth-speak-chapter-21.html). I was weak, I've repented, picked myself up, dusted myself off and kept it moving. I've told him that I couldn't be "friends" with him, so I cut him off. I guess I must have made a "lasting impression" because he keeps calling every six months like clockwork to see if I have "gotten over it!" What part of "leave me the hell alone" did he not understand? I'm just saying...

But the bloodhound is the one that is the most dangerous. What I mean by dangerous is that this "dog" is a few fries away from a Happy Meal! One can away from a six-pack! The dog represents a guy who I was talking to, but he was in a relationship with someone else while he was with me. What I didn't appreciate is the fact he was comparing me and her to see who would "support" him the most (by support, I mean financially). Obviously I couldn't do it, so "Sugarmama" won! (Which is fine by me, because honestly, I've dodged a major bullet!) Now you would think that he's living happily ever after - but no! He keeps trying to attach himself onto me - by trying to be "friends" with some of my family and friends on Facebook, stalking me on the Internet to see what I am doing and who I am with and worst off all, continuously try to attack me on the pulpit saying "we don't love and respect for one another and we have too many haters in the church!" (Oh, did I mention that we all attend the same church - me, him and his wife?) *rolls eyes* First of all, I've forgiven this man for ALL that he has done to me. Second, the two commandments that Jesus gave to his disciples were to 1) love the Lord with all of your heart and 2) love your brother as yourself! I do love him as a brother in Christ because 1) that is part of the commandments and 2) I love myself way too much not for me to love him; however, the bible does not say that I have to LIKE my brother! I love him, but I have absolutely no respect for him as a man, much less a MINISTER! And I refuse to let him be the vain of my very existence!

The moral of the story is this - my future husband must be right around in order for all of this to happen to me. It is said that Satan will bring in the counterfeits before God brings you the "real deal!" Future husband - come quickly and put a license on this! The ring is good, don't get me wrong - but the license seals the deal!

Until next time.....

"The King Behind the Kid" Syndrome" - The Insanity Needs To Stop!

As God is preparing me for my husband, I was looking back at my past relationship (or lack thereof) and I realized they all had something in common. The majority of the guys I was involved with were selfish and immature, yet they all had potential to become great men - but fell short! This is what I call the "king behind the kid" syndrome - a man that has great potential, but still has some maturing to do. However, I labeled this as a syndrome because with most of these men, I saw in them what I WANTED to see and not see these men for WHO THEY REALLY WERE!

Sometimes we as women tends to make life-altering decisions by seeing a man's potential and not take them at face value. I wonder if we are sometimes blinded by love for these men, maybe the sex was so good and you can't see straight, or perhaps we tend to settle, whether it's because we're getting older or we feel that there aren't many options of men available. Whatever the case maybe, it's time that we put a label on it, confront the issue head-on and deal with it!

Ladies, I plead with you! If you're currently in a relationship or even a marriage, and this syndrome describes your situation, I plead that you seek the Lord for a resolution! If the man that you're with has selfish tendencies, immature ways or doesn't value you for the woman that you are, here are your options: either pray for God to change him or you get out of that relationship and start to change YOU! A man will only do what we allow for him to do! If the potential that you've seen in that man hasn't manifested over time, isn't really worth you staying? Isn't really worth you being constantly frustrated over and over again and the situation hasn't changed? Aren't you worth a whole lot more than what you're receiving?

Please share this post with every women you know. Together, let's put this syndrome ON BLAST!

Until next time...

Where's Holiness in the Church? - Chapter 41

It's official ya'll, I'm tired!

I know that Romans 3:23 says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Lord knows I've sinned! However, when are WE as the people of God are going to STOP using this scripture as a crutch for our messy lifestyles and behaviors!? 1 Peter 2:5 says "you also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ." Are we suppose to live a life holy and acceptable unto Christ?

I am also tired of people who have been ordained as ministers taken a place as sacred as the pulpit, bringing up their fleshly issues and gripes, slapping scriptures behind their causes and having the AUDACITY to call it from GOD! The devil is a LIAR and the truth ain't in him! I'm tired of people who are suppose to be ministers making a MOCKERY out of the sacred pulpit! The last time I've checked, I thought that carrying a title in the church was to be a SERVANT - a servant of God Himself, a servant to the leader of the church AND a servant to the people of God! Not to rule, reign and CONTROL people and get their jollies off from doing so! It's DISGRACEFUL how some leaders makes a mockery out of GOD! John 13:16 says "I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him." 2 Peter 2:1 says: "But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will also be false teachers among you, who will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing swift destruction upon themselves." I guess this is the case concerning the church overall!

The bottom line is this - I'm a woman of God with integrity, honor and respect of the Word of God! When I see MESS being greatly mistaken for BLESSED, I have to take a stand! My mom always says "if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything!" Ephesians 5:27 clearly states "that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless." This is where the church overall needs to be! So the question is "WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET THERE?"

Most likely, I will be criticised for my entry or even attacked on the pulpit because I stand on the WORD! I realize now that the more folks attack me, the greater my promotion is in the Kingdom of GOD!

So bring it on...

I'm At My Place Called "There" - Being Saved, Single and Satisfied! - Chapter 39

I have named my blog called "Saved, Single But Not Satisfied" for good reason - because I wasn't satisfied in my singleness. That is until now!

We as people of God all have our crosses to bear, but we each have that place to enter called "there!" That place called "there" could be prosperity, material things, good health, etc. But also, it could be something great like having a closer relationship with God, to have increased wisdom, knowledge and discernment.

My place called "there" is to finally be satisfied in my singleness. To view being single as a blessing and not a curse. To be finally happy with myself so that true love would find me instead of me going to find it! I've got some news for you - after some setbacks, some trials and tribulations and some pruning on God's behalf, I'm finally at that place called "there!" Praise God!

Will I change my blog name? Absolutely not! This blog is a documented journey of all I have endured. I am truly grateful to God for what He has done in my life over the last two years.

What is your place called "there?"

Until next time....

On To The Next One - Chapter 38

I woke up very early this morning and I couldn't go back to sleep for whatever reason. As I looked back on the first six months of this year, I've had some setbacks and disappointments. When it's all said and done, these experiences have made me a stronger and better person. I'm grateful that I've put my trust in God and not in man!

Anyway, as I finally close this chapter of my life and prepare for the next one, I felt led to write a poem. It's my version of saying "deuces" to the past and move on to the next phase of life. Let's see what God has in store!

Thank You For Not Choosing Me

Thank you for not choosing me

to be your lady

to be your financial support system

to be the mother of your baby

All you would have been to me is a stumbling block

a hinderance

a shackle

an obstruction from my blessings

Thank you for not choosing me

to be the love your life

to be your best friend

to be your future wife

All you would have been to me is a hurdle

a handicap

a stone wall

a cramp in my style

My womanhood is too great to be attached to a goldigger

A childish, immature broke nigger

With a crooked smile

All the while

You refuse to obtain your own figures

So your mission was to get a chick with the most dough

A chick you could try to manipulate and control

Now you're stuck like glue

With a chick that's controlling you

Now you've learned you reap what you sow

Now the right man will come along

A man who's confident, gorgeous and strong

With a smile that calms

As I take him in my arms

and he says "this is where I belong!"

So thank you for not choosing me!

(c) 2011 Tonja E. Withers

Heartbreak...CELEBRATE! ~ Chapter 37

As I continue to go on my journey, I came across this blog entry from The Single Woman, a woman I follow on Twitter. I feel that it's appropriate for times like these:

"Quote of the Day:

“Someday you're gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You'll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing...” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

The Single Woman Says:

What are you grieving today? The loss of a relationship? A job? A friendship? Your self worth?

I’m here to tell you that walking through heartbreak is walking on SACRED ground, and never are you in a better position to learn more about WHO YOU REALLY ARE than while waiting on a wound to become a scar.

Bad things are going to happen. People are going to betray you. People are going to walk away. Seasons of your life are going to end, without warning. It’s not gonna be right and it’s not gonna be fair…but here are your choices: Grow BITTER or grow BETTER.

Breakups have a way of shaking us awake and helping us see what we really want vs. what we are willing to settle for. There will come a day when you will look back and thank God that this person or opportunity was removed from your life, because you would have never found YOU if you hadn’t lost THEM.

When we are transitioning from one season of life to the next, life has a way of removing the people and situations from our lives that don’t belong there. Not everyone is meant to make it to the promised land with us. And that’s okayIf you’re in a season of heartbreak right now, I encourage you to pull out the confetti and CELEBRATE, because on the other side of that broken heart is a brand new start. Right now, this very moment, is a defining moment in your life, so face it, embrace it…and watch your wounds turn into wisdom…and your trials turn into treasure."

What Would You Do? - Chapter 36

If a woman falls in love with a man's Godly potential and his calling in Christ, but the man is actually selfish as well as childish and immature, does she stay in love with him and pray for him to change or should she cut her losses and move on?

That's the question that I pose not only to the folks reading this blog but to God as well. I've been back and forth with this thought for a while now. After much consideration, I've cut my losses! To me, it's not worth the trouble to love, care for or even PRAY for a man that saw me as nothing more than a conquest - then moves on the next conquest. Rest assured - after this situation, I will not let another man take me to this place ever again!

However, I am curious. What would you if you were me? Speak your mind!

This will the last time that I will bring up this topic! After this entry, I'm done discussing my feelings of this "person"! (I was really being nice using the word "person"!)

Until next time...

Patience...Oy Vey! - Chapter 35

"Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfectwork, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." James 1:3-4

I see that God is working on my patience! I'm just sayin'!

Without going into too much detail, I am the type of person that observes people's actions and not just their words. I believe that God has given me that gift of discerment when it comes to my interaction with people. Though there are times when I do miss the mark, there are also times when I'm right on the money! I can tell when something's going right and I can also tell when something's going wrong.

Bottom line is I'm asking God to grant me patience when it comes to dealing with His people. I don't like to assume anything! I always want to know where I stand with people, so I know how to deal with them accordingly. I've been screwed over by way too many people in the past. I will not let history repeat itself!

Lord help me! Oy vey!

Until next time....

Self Analysis - Chapter 34

This topic is about self-analysis and importantance of knowing who God says you are and not who people say you are!

The Introduction - Chapter 32

This is the introductory video for The S.I.M. Factor. Enjoy!

What is Your Weakness? - Chapter 33

This is one of the episodes of The S.I.M. Factor! Check it out!

The S.I.M. Factor - Chapter 31

There's a video broadcast that is greatly needed for times like these called "The S.I.M. Factor!"

The S.I.M. Factor (Singles in Ministry) is a video broadcast the deals with the issues that affects Christian Singles in ministry. This broadcast will address our interpersonal and relationship skills with our single brothers and sisters in Christ and give instruction on how to relate to one another according to the Word of God!

You can find this broadcast on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/teejay4273

There is also a Fan page on Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-SIM-Factor/148350958556538

Please check it out! God bless you!

Until next time...

New Year - Better Me! - Chapter 30

Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I decree and declare by the Holy Spirit that dwells within me and by the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ that 2011 will be the greatest year of my life!

For those of you who do not know my testimony, I've suffered from depression for most of my life. It all started from when my father left me when I was a toddler. I was muted - completely stopped talking up to age 4 1/2. That's why I was in Special Education throughout my elementary school years for a speech impediment and lack of reading comprehension. Then by the age of 5, I was sexually molested (that lasted for years) - which ultimately lead to the promiscuity years as a teenager. At that time, in order to receive love and attention from guys, I've sacrificed myself constantly for someone to love me and did things I wasn't proud of because that's all I knew how to do. On top of all that, I believed in every lie that was ever told to me. "You ain't gonna amount to anything!" "You ain't gonna be nothing - just like your daddy!" "You're not attractive - you're fat!" "Don't no man want YOU!" "You're gonna spend the rest of your life broke, busted and disgusted!" (That comment came from my father!)

Then, at 22, I gave my life to Christ...well...not exactly! The only reason why I accepted Christ at that time was because I wanted to get close to this guy. When the relationship didn't work out, I left him, the church and God too! I've made a conscious to give my life to Christ two years later. But throughout my Christ walk, I've ran from my calling! I didn't want to go through the breaking of MY will. I didn't want to suffer through the pain that comes with answering THE CALL! i didn't want to sacrifice my lifestyle, my so-called "friends", none of that! I've FINALLY surrendered at age 33 and answered the call. That's when the purging and the breaking began!

Throughout the last four years of my life, God has purged me, cleansed me, broke me and healed me. What I'm most grateful to God for is Him delivering me from people! People's judgements, criticisms and even their expectations of me. For almost my entire life, I've cared and even worried about what people thought of me. Hence the depressed spirit I've had. All because I've let people break my spirit! Not no more! I have FINALLY come to a place in my life where I now focus on who GOD says I am and not PEOPLE! People will FAIL YOU! I promise you this: I will not let another human being break my SPIRIT ever again!

So you ask "why am I sharing this?" Going through this journey has made me realize that what I've gone through my entire life was not for me! It was to help others that has gone through or is currently going through these kinds of situations and ultimately show that there is a way out - Jesus Christ! If you ever wondered why I am the way I am - why I seem to be so strong - why I don't take nonsense from anybody? Now you know why!

As far as 2011 is concerned, this is my Ephesians 3:20 year! "Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, accordingto the power that worketh in us."

Until next time...